There is a hurricane sweeping through town and it is out of control. Everything
in the path of this juggernaut will be subject to designation by the Heritage Port
I advise against standing still for more than two minutes in the core area. You
could be declared an historic site and then you wouldn't be able to change your
underwear or your spats (in case you happened to be wearing either one) without
the permission of the Heritage Police, who will be paid $17.50 an hour just like
our Parking Meter Maids.
This hurricane will blow through Port Stanley only. The rest of Central Elgin will
be spared the damage but will have to pay for the cleanup.
Please note that prior to amalgamation, hurricanes normally wandered all over the
place. It is time to rethink this amalgamation thing. Nobody I know of is happy
Meanwhile, batten down your hatches and hide your paint cans because they might
be the wrong colour.
Port Stanley, ON